The Ex Factor

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Everyone’s got one. And your BF is no exception.

You guys want to know:

How do you avoid feeling jealous of a boyfriend’s ex? How do you stay cool when running into your boyfriend’s exes or when you see them all over social media?

I’ll remind you guys that I am not an expert on dating or relationships. Everything here is just my perspective and opinion. But hopefully it at least gives you a different point of view or reinforces what you’re already thinking!

First of all, respect the ex. Who knows what the h*ll kinda sh*t your amazing, perfect BF put his ex through that led to their breakup, but you can bet there was some heartbreak involved. Be compassionate and put yourself in her shoes. “That would suck.” See?

And if she was a lying, cheating (fill in choice expletive) and she crushed him, you can respect her for being that way so your BF ended up free to date  you.

Forget the past. Right now, take a deep breath in and when you exhale, let go of every single detail about your boyfriend’s dating life before you two were together. He didn’t know all the things he would love about you then, because if he did, he wouldn’t have been there doing that. Let thoughts of the past be off limits (especially if they bug you). Trust me, guys don’t do things they don’t want to do, and he’s chosen to be with you — so you know where he stands.

Ex-stalking: Duh, we all do a little Insta-creeping. BUT we also know it’s pointless so just break this habit. The only thing I ever learned from checking my boyfriend’s exes Instagram’s is that they’re all hot as f*ck! Which I already knew. So, moving on.

When you run into his ex, I think it’s generally good to be open to being friendly, but leave the terms up to her. Maybe she’s still not over ti and isn’t in a position to be friendly back. That’s fine. Maybe she’s moved on and everyone’s happy and you all say a cordial “hello” to each other. Even better. The point is you a) aren’t too invested in either response but b) you are the big person and are open to friendliness. That’s all anyone can ask for!

When all else fails, remember this: whoever was a part of his past, had a part in making him who he is today — and you really like him today, right?

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