Mile-High Hotties

Guys are always so loyal to their sports teams, right? Usually it has something to do with where your guy lives or where he went to college. That’s cool.  However, you might not have the same loyalties – or stamina for watching endless sports matches.

Well, luckily each team usually has some man candy. Maybe the guy’s making a great play, maybe he’s flubbing it, but watch the camera zoom in – turns out he’s a cutie! We’re focusing on the Mile High city of Denver, Colorado this week, where there’s at least one on each team.  Keep in mind, Colorado is one of the few states to have all big 4 (NHL, NFL, NBA, MLB) teams and the MLS!  Here are some to watch out for.

Colorado Rapids: Tony Cascio, #14

Have you ever been seduced by sultry eyes? (Not that I have or anything.) Well, if sultry dark eyes, not to mention black curls, are your weakness, you might want to check out Tony Cascio. This is one hunk of a soccer player! He’s not just a swoon-worthy face, though. He’s Mr. Clutch in a pinch, scoring a goal in the last minutes of a game to give the Rapids a win:

Unfortunately, being a hottie and a clutch goal-scorer didn’t stop him from getting his Twitter account hacked. Recently Tony’s followers were puzzled to see a slew of random tweets coming through in Russian– he’s from Arizona. After a couple hours, the real Tony tweeted, “I’ve been hacked. Need a better password.”  Poor guy!

Colorado Avalanche: Gabriel Landeskog, #92

According to a Christmas promo, Gabe has the best hair on the Colorado Avalanche hockey team. While he may not have the best hair on this list – there are a couple of guys with wicked cool Medusa locks –Gabe’s blonde tresses look ready to have some fingers run through them! This guy’s no slouchy dresser either. He’s generally considered very well-dressed, sporting ties and suit jackets when others are slouching around in jeans and t-shirts.

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This blue-eyed Swede is a great leader. He was named captain at the tender age of 19. Now that he’s 21, he’s rather hoping people stop calling him a kid. He’s a man, but he’s still got a kid’s sense of humor. When asked recently about a loss, he admitted the team had been slow. His explanation? “Maybe it was too many Christmas cookies.” Pretty cute on all counts!

Denver Broncos: David Bruton, #30

This Broncos football player isn’t one of those guys who just has things handed to him. He went to Notre Dame for college, getting his degree in political science and sociology. David has put that degree to good use. Not only does he blog for ScoutingTheSports.com, but he spent the lockout season as a substitute teacher in his native Dayton, Ohio. You read that right – million-dollar football player was substitute teaching for $90 a pop. He told the Denver Post, “It’s nice to be able to give back to my community.”

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Let me tell you, when a guy’s got a heart of gold like that, it comes through in his smile. Sure enough, when David smiles, you just want to smile back – which must have been useful when he was teaching teens. Smart is sexy. (But so is that wild mane of dreadlocks!)

Colorado Rockies: Nolan Arenado, #28

Talk about infectious smiles – Nolan Arenado of the Rockies has got one of those. Watch him yuck it up in the dugout with his teammates and, well, you can imagine he’d be the type of guy to relieve the tension of a tough game. What a great smile!

Apparently this 22-year-old rookie from Cali is also some sort of phenom. He even won the Golden Glove Award for being a rock star in the field. He’s only the tenth rookie to ever win it! He’s known for making these ridiculous plays, soaring through the air to catch the ball. Watch him fly, throw the ball to first base from the ground, then casually walk back to his position like it’s nothing. When amazing is that easy, no wonder the smile is so wide!

Denver Nuggets: Kenneth Faried, #35

Ok, Ken kind of looks like the good looking one from Milli Vanilli. Remember them? Yea, they went down in infamy, but that one was still pretty cute. That’s Ken, the second guy on this list with Medusa locks. Seriously, watch him play, rocketing down the court with his locks streaming behind him like a pennant. Plus, he’s another one with a wide, Colgate smile.

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Teammates call him “Manimal” because he’s a beast of basketball. Off the court, though, he is a big-hearted family man raising his daughter and helping out his ailing mother. What a guy – tough when he needs to be and all softy when possible.

So, next time you’re tuning in to watch a Colorado team, check out what athletes are on the big screen. One of these Mile-High hotties might just turn up.

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Man Candy Throw Down: Brady Vs. Green

Man Candy Throw Down: Football’s Tom Brady vs. Hockey’s Mike Green

Don’t you think it’s time for a throw down between the two manliest sports, football and hockey? I don’t mean fighting. I mean, who’s hotter – a football quarterback or a hockey defenseman?

Two men regularly make ladies’ “hottest” list for their sports: Tom Brady, quarterback for the New England Patriots, and Mike Green, defenseman for the Washington Capitals. So, between these two East Coast manly men, who’s got more sex appeal?

Stats

36-year-old Tom Brady is 6-foot 4 and weighs 225 pounds – all muscle, naturally. (Well, some of it might be his lion’s mane hairdo.) Are quarterbacks always such giants? You’d need to be one bold defenseman to attempt sacking him!

28-year-old Mike Green is a bit slighter, weighing in at 207 pounds on a 6-foot 1 frame.  That’s a bit small for a defenseman – plenty of forwards are his size or bigger.

Advantage: Size isn’t everything (wink), but Tom gets the win on this one.

Personal Life

California boy Tom Brady is looking to repopulate the world beautifully. He has a son with lovely lady actress Bridget Moynahan. And he’s currently married to the incomparable Giselle Bündchen. The two have a pair of kids together – beautiful ones, natch.

Canadian-born Mike Green is looking to make the world a better place. He co-founded a charity called So Kids Can, which benefits youth-based charities, building playgrounds and providing prosthetics for kids in need. Mike also raises money for the Children’s National Medical Center. Then, every year, Mike buys seven Caps’ season tickets and donates them to Most Valuable Kids, which benefits underprivileged children.

Advantage: Let’s face it, giving back is sexy. Major advantage goes to Mike.

In Uniform

Football players wear those great pants that seem designed to accentuate their, ahem, derrieres. With tight-fitting jerseys over shoulder pads, Tom Brady looks like Buff Man personified. Add that blackening under his eyes and laser-blue stare, and Tom looks like a warrior on the field.

Hockey players are stuck wearing those funny thermal shorts and loose jerseys. We don’t get much of a sense of what Mike’s figure looks like beyond “boxy.” And any black under his eyes is bruising. Add to that the plastic visor that masks his dark stare, and it can be hard to distinguish Mike Green from the other Capitals without looking at his number.

Advantage: Even though both players sport patriotic uniforms, Tom just looks better in his.

In Pictures

Tom Brady looks good in pics both on and off the field. Check him in his uniform, helmet off, looking ready to deliver a stern lecture.

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So cute on a bike, though. Look at that smile!

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Mike Green is no slouch in photos either. On ice, helmet off, he also looks ready to deliver a stern “lecture.” Right, that’s what the dark stare is saying!

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Off ice with those slick shades, Mike looks like the quintessential bad boy. Love the faux ‘hawk! (The boy’s got tats, too, though you can’t see them here.)

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Advantage: That’s a personal preference – are you into blondes on bikes or brooding brunettes? Tie.

Well, on the face of it, Tom Brady looks to be the big winner. I think we’ve got to give extra points to Mike Green, though, for his acrobatic flip into his own bench in a game against the Edmonton Oilers. He comes up looking a little confused but ready to head back out onto the ice!

So, what do you say? Who’s hotter, Tom or Mike?

Wait, who said we had to choose – they’re both smokin’!

Man Candy Monday: Boston Style

This edition of Man Candy Monday is taking a look back east…to Bean Town (that’s Boston for those of you who live in a cave).

Bostonians are hardcore about their sports. They love their teams, and they are die-hard about it. They’ve got plenty to celebrate, having all the major leagues as well as professional lacrosse – lacrosse!

So, if you’re in Boston, or talking to a Bostonian, chances are the topic is going to turn to sports. And if some Bostonians overrun your favorite sports bar… well, here are some guys to look for, no matter what sport they turn the channel to.

Jerryd Bayless, Boston Celtics guard, #11

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Jerryd Bayless isn’t just about playing basketball for the Boston Celtics, though he’s a top guard on the team. This tattooed hunk is about words. He’s got some of the most… random tweets in which he discusses his obsession with Boardwalk Empire, his disgust with the new Morpheus commercials and whether he should choose the red or the blue pill. (He chose red – I think it’s a reference to the commercial.)

I’m not sure what he finds so offensive about the commercial, but maybe he’ll write about it in his blog. Yea, Jerryd’s dark-dark eyes aren’t just looking into the future of the Boston Celtics, but into the future of social media, it seems.

Xander Bogaerts, Boston Red Sox infielder, #72

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There’s two of Xander – well, not exactly.  Xander’s got a twin, if you can believe that, so it’s like there’s two of him. Only Xander’s playing for a Boston team, though, so let’s look at this Aruban cutie on his own. Oh, that’s right – he comes from that most chill of locales, the place so many of us dream about visiting – Aruba.

Dark eyes, dark curls, smooth dark skin – but Xander’s got skill, too. He was one of the leaders in helping the Red Sox win the World Series in 2013. Xander grew up idolizing baseball great Derek Jeter (who wouldn’t!) and is only the fifth Aruban to play in the MLB. No wonder he looks so happy!

Chris Tierney, New England Revolution defender, #8

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I like soccer – well-formed men running around in shorts and tight jerseys, just kicking a ball. Yea, soccer’s a pretty good sport, and Chris on the New England Revolution is very good at it. He’s a defender, so that means his job is to keep opponents from kicking the ball into his team’s net. Not only is Chris good at doing it – he looks so good doing it. Soccer players are built!

This blue-eyed cutie also gets extra points because he’s actually from Boston. It’s pretty rare to find a pro athlete playing for his hometown team, but Chris is the real deal!

Dougie Hamilton, Boston Bruins defenseman, #27

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Ok, let’s just say it – little Dougie Hamilton looks like an angel. He’s not really little – 6-foot-5! (His mom played basketball for Team Canada in the Olympics.) But don’t you just want to pinch his cheeks? Well, none of his opponents want to – or they wouldn’t dare give in to the urge. The Bruins are known for being a crash and bang kind of team, and this is hockey, so… use your imagination. And Dougie keeps up with the big boys.

He’s actually very talented. Though a defenseman, he can score goals and help his teammates do the same. He’s the second-best defenseman on his team – no small feat for a 20-year-old in his second year of professional hockey. Those ultra-blue eyes, those blonde curls… yep, angel, no matter what team he plays for.

Paul Rabil, Boston Cannons midfielder, #99

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Speaking of hair, Paul has flow. And blue eyes. And muscles. And one of the sternest chins I’ve ever seen. I’d like to say this Maryland native is just a big softie, but he plays lacrosse. That’s a sport that claims it’s more crash and bang than hockey! Of course, Paul is an ambassador for animals, so he does have his tender moments.

Paul played college lacrosse for Johns Hopkins University – that’s a pretty impressive school to get into, never mind your sports skills. He got drafted into two professional lacrosse leagues and has also represented the U.S. in the Olympics. He’s got oodles of awards, especially for his offensive play – apparently he’s got a wicked fast shot. And flow. And blue eyes and muscles… You get the point.

Well that wrap’s up our man crush monday!  Enjoy!

#MCM: Golf Edition

Golf doesn’t seem like an exciting sport to watch – it seems more like the type of sport you want to take up. Well, after discovering what cuties might be lurking on the green, I think we’ll all be both watching and playing golf!

Matteo Manassero

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There’s just something about Italians – they can make even crazy, green golf pants look good. Maybe it’s the sexy little smile or the Italian accent… Matteo’s got golf chops, too, though. This 21-year-old from Negrar, Italy, currently holds the record for  youngest golfer to win a European Tour event  — he won the Castelló Masters Costa Azahar in Valencia, Spain at just 17. This young cutie has quite a career ahead of him if he keeps that up!

Ian Poulter

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Ian’s well-known for his crazy hair and wild outfits. And his animated home in Florida. He also maintains a fleet of seven cars – five of them Ferraris. Of course, when you’re a pro golfer, that kind of buckage comes from being a winner, and Ian’s just that. He’s got 16 professional wins, and he’s been ranked as high as #5 overall. This British-born hottie is also a Twitter sensation – that’s some personality.

Alvaro Quiros

 

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How many golfers do you know have their photos taken with a bona fide sheik? Well, that’s what happens when you win the Omega Dubai Desert Classic. This Spanish-born cutie, with his ultra-deep eyes, has also taken trophies in Qatar and Portugal. He’s something of a rebel, too, favoring Atletico Madrid over Real Madrid – it’s a Spanish thing.

Camilo Villegas

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No, I did not slip a model into this golf  #MCM. Camilo Villegas (there’s a “b” and a “y” sound in there – you figure it out) is an accomplished golfer. At the age of 16 he won the amateur’s “Grand Slam” of golf in his native Colombia, consisting of three junior championships. Now 32, this hottie is dedicated to physical fitness – as evidenced by his appearance in ESPN’s Body Issue.

Graeme McDowell

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I don’t know how I missed this Irishman for the St. Patty’s version of #MCM – consider the mistake rectified. And this is one of those Irishmen with a heart rather than pot of gold – G-Mac, as he’s called, started the G-Mac Foundation in support of children’s medical research in his native Ireland. Professionally, 2010 was a good year for G-Mac – he won both the Ryder Cup and the U.S. Open!

Rickie Fowler

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Rickie Fowler is the Ian Poulter for the Millennial set. Instead of cars, he’s into motorcross. (Actually, he’s into cars, too – he even has a custom Porsche.) Plus, he’s the type of guy confident enough to match the sunshine yellow and teal blue in his hat to his entire outfit. Of course, when you’ve got the caramel skin and piercing eyes of this 25-year-old Californian, you can pull anything off. Oh, he’s pretty good at golf, too – according to CBS Sports, Rickie’s beaten 98 percent of the golfers in the majors this year. Go, Rickie!

Kyle Stanley

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There’s just something about Kyle’s smile, right? Makes you want to kick back at a baseball game with him, indulging in some of those microbrews they’ve got on tap now. Well, Kyle would be up for it, if he didn’t travel about 3/4 of the year for golf – especially during baseball season, when the weather’s good for golf, too. Ah, well, we’ll just content ourselves with watching this Washington-native on the PGA Tour.

Martin Kaymer

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Some guys are just cuties – that’s Martin. This German-born golfer has been busy since he turned pro in 2005. He won the Sir Henry Cotton Rookie of the Year, Race to Dubai and was named European Tour Golfer of the Year in 2010. The next year he spent eight weeks ranked as the number-one golfer in the world. As they say in his homeland, sehr schön!

Adam Scott

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So, go on Pinterest and search for “hot golfers,” and you get more pictures of Adam Scott than any other. (Not that I’ve tried that.) No wonder – the smooth good looks and Aussie accent practically guarantee Adam heartthrob status! The 34-year-old is an impressive golfer, though, having amassed 27 career wins, including the 2013 Masters. Oh, and he’s currently ranked as the world’s #1 golfer. Not bad for a pretty boy, hm?

10 World Cup Hotties To Watch

Ah, the FIFA World Cup, when countries get together to battle it out on the soccer field. There are spectacular goals, jaw-dropping saves and some sharp elbows. Occasionally there’s mental pain – Croatia’s still smarting about a call that went against them and cost them their first match against the host country, Brazil.

One thing we can always see at the World Cup, though – well-formed men in shorts. Let’s get on with that, then.

Francesc “Cesc” Fàbregas, Spain

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Black hair and dark eyes give him such a deep stare. He could be standing there thinking about how badly he wants a snack, and it’ll look like he’s wrestling with a world dilemma! Well, could be his thoughts do run deep. Cesc is an Honorary Patron of “Show Racism the Red Card,” a campaign against racism in soccer.

Mario Götze, Germany

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Ok, Mario is more of a cutie than a hottie, don’t you think? Plus, that blonde swoop in the front – for which he’s famous – makes him look as if he’s been Rick-rolled. Though it may seem he’s only 15, this Bavarian-born boy is actually a ripe, old 22. He’s also the second-highest-paid soccer player in Germany!

Henrique Adriano Buss, Brazil

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This Brazilian defender has been out on loan – seriously, his primary professional team, Barcelona, actually loaned him to the Brazilian club Palmeiras. What’s better than getting to live in Barcelona? Why, getting to play soccer in São Paulo, a tropical metropolis! Now, of course, Henrique also gets to represent the host country in the World Cup.

Dejan Lovren, Croatia

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Don’t worry about the intense look on Dejan’s face – that’s just his Croatian patriotism. See, he was born in what’s now Bosnia when it was still Yugoslavia, though he’s Croatian by heritage… never mind. He started his career playing for the premier Croatian team, Dinamo Zagreb, and has represented Croatia consistently since 2004. Oh, and he runs the Russel Brown fashion label, which is based in Croatia. That’s right, I said fashion label.

Kyle Beckerman, USA

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No, David Beckham did not adopt a crazy new hairstyle – that’s Kyle Beckerman and his trademark dreadlocks. And this man is All-American, having been born in Maryland just northeast of the capital, Washington, D.C. Kyle has represented the US numerous times and even spent a few years with the Colorado Rapids, though he plays for Real Salt Lake now.

Sergio Romero, Argentina

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Rumor has it Sergio does smile. Of course, when you make your living as a goal keeper, placing yourself bodily in front of a ball speeding at your face… and when, despite the fact you’re 6-foot-4 your brothers call you “tiny” because they’re basketball stars… However, Sergio does smile – like when he represents his country at the World Cup!

James Troisi, Australia

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That’s how they play soccer Down Under, mate – without their shirt on! Just kidding – James is just indulging in that honored soccer tradition of ripping your jersey off when you score. This built cutie currently plays for Atalanta – that’s not a misspelling, it’s an Italian team, where it does get hot…

Jack Wilshere, England

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There are more pictures of Jack’s tongue than of his tattoos. Not for any weird reason – he just seems to stick his tongue out when he’s concentrating, which he does a lot when he’s playing soccer apparently. Or maybe he’s sticking his tongue out because he’s that buff. (He does have some serious ink, though, on those chiseled arms.)

Kevin-Prince Boateng, Ghana

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Holy bicep, Batman, that’s a big one. Yes, Kevin-Prince is showing off his tattoo, but the muscle takes center stage, don’t you think? KP’s more than just a chiseled bod – he’s a man proficient in six languages and is a bona fide United Nations ambassador for anti-racism.

Salvatore Sirigu, Italy

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Leave it to the Italians to hi-jack a model and toss him out on the soccer field. Just kidding – the Sardinian-born goalie has represented Italy five times including this year’s World Cup. This blue-eyed hottie currently wanders the streets of Paris – well, he plays for the Paris St.-Germain club anyway.

Cold Weather Cuties

Happy Saturday, but, baby, it’s cold outside.

I know the holidays are over, but some of us are still in for long winter months. Luckily, some of the athletes who participate in winter sports are hot enough to make you think you’re standing in front of a fireplace. Check out the top 5 warming athletes for winter months:

Number 5: Evgeni Plushenko, Russian figure skater

Admittedly, Evgeni is not the cutest guy on this list. In fact, he’s a bit on the dorky side. With this Russian-born ice skater, though, it’s all about the personality — he’s got it in spades. He’s confident, playful and downright funny. He’s also all heart. He recently ceded his spot on the Russian figure skating team as a soloist to a young pup. He’s basically stepping aside to let the 18-year-old Maxim Kovtun have the shot Evgeni had at soloist Olympic gold. Evgeni is contenting himself with the new team competition in figure skating.

Very noble of him. Heart-warming, in fact, to see a man take his sport so honorably. However, it’s also a bit of a pity because it’s doubtful Maxim will have quite the panache of Evgeni. Just check out his wild 2002 performance “Sex Bomb.” When a guy can joke with himself so much, well… it makes up for that teeny bit of dorkiness, doesn’t it? (Plus he’s got some moves!)

Number 4: Matt Margetts, Canadian freestyle skier

Marg, as he’s known, is touted as something of a wild child in Canadian press. Of course, in Canadian terms, that just means he grew his hair long and took up surfing in the off-season. Oh, and he chose skiing over hockey. In what’s probably a common convo in Canadian households, his parents asked him if he wanted to try skiing or hockey when he was five. He chose skiing. Wild child. (Look for him to represent Team Canada for freestyle, though.)
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Marg’s motto is “Life is a beach, why not live on it?” That could explain the surfing obsession. Not to mention long, blonde locks and penchant for skiing sans shirt. (That must be cold, but aren’t we glad he takes one for the team?) Actually, Marg has shorn his locks recently. Doesn’t really detract from his beach bum, er, ski bum charm, does it?

Number 3: Greg Jennings, Minnesota Vikings football

It doesn’t get much colder than Minnesota in the winter. Luckily Vikings fans have had wide receiver Greg Jennings to look at. Smallish for a football player – 6′-foot, 195 pounds – he’s a speedy guy on the field. (And check his bulging biceps!)GregJennings_186

Family guy Greg – he’s got the cutest three daughters with wife Nicole – isn’t just about football. His Greg Jennings Foundation disperses grants to help underprivileged children and youth. Oh, and if the football thing doesn’t work out, he’s got a back-up plan: acting. Greg has played himself on a couple prime time shows and even made an appearance as a lab technician on the show “Criminal Minds.” Here’s to seeing more of Greg’s big smile on television.

Number 2: Bobby Brown, U.S. freeskier

Have you seen Bobby Brown in action? Wait, I don’t mean Bobby Brown the singer. No, no, I also don’t mean Bobbi Brown the makeup artist. I mean Bobby Brown the skier. He’s looking pretty good to make the U.S. Olympics team alongside Shaun White. In fact, he was the first to execute this crazy “triple-cork” jump. He also landed a “Switch Double Misty 1440.” No, that’s not a drink you can get at a ski lodge. It’s a ridiculous aerial act full of twists and turns. This dude can fly!

He is one cutie, though. Seriously, doesn’t he have the cutest smile? He’s kind of what you’re hoping your ski instructor looks like when you decide to take a lesson… ok, he’s totally what you hope your ski instructor looks like!20101102-bobbybrown-450

And now for another Bobby…

Number 1: Bobby Ryan, Ottawa Senators hockey

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Stop staring into Bobby’s eyes. I dare you. It’s remarkably hard to do, isn’t it? Those blue eyes are like two lasers in an otherwise regular-handsome face. But if those eyes don’t make you melt this winter, I don’t know what will.

Oh, maybe Bobby’s devotion to cats will warm your heart like it does mine. He’s got two, Prince and Pelle, and he’s regularly seen hanging with them and even snuggling! Now, I know “hockey player” and “snuggles” don’t often go hand in hand, but since Bobby surprisingly didn’t make the U.S. Olympic team, he’s going to have a couple weeks coming up for cuddling. Any takers?

Best And Worst NFL Uniforms

The NFL season is coming to an end with the Super Bowl approaching. Players have their favorite brands of pads, shoes, and I imagine, jocks. Of course, the teams provide their uniforms – meaning the most stylish of dresser might get stuck in a hideous jersey or a jeans-and-t-shirt guy gets to rock a winning ensemble.

Do the relative aesthetics of a uniform matter to the game? Not really – these guys fight for their team pride and personal competitiveness. Truthfully, the aesthetics of team colors, logos and overall design only affect us, the fans. We have to look at those uniforms and spend money on their gear a the memorabilia store.

So with that in mind, lets evaluate the top 5 and bottom 5 in NFL uniforms. Let me know what you think by commenting!

BEST-DRESSED

5. CAROLINA PANTHERS

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The panthers’ inclusion under best-dressed may seem controversial considering their colors are cyan blue and black with a side of platinum. However, their black uniforms make this color combination work. Plus, those colors mixed with a fierce black panther logo make for some fan shirts you wouldn’t mind paring with some skinny jeans, accessorizing and hitting the town in.

4. MIAMI DOLPHINS

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You either love or hate the Dolphins uniforms, with their teal base accented in melon. Of course, those colors are representative of Miami – and many people either love or hate the city. The logo is cute without being cartoonish, and the pastels work well with many ensembles. Of course, you’ve got to give props to a pro football player who can wear teal and melon with pride.

3. DALLAS COWBOYS

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The Cowboys’ uniforms are iconic in their simplicity. The simple star logo melds well with the overall design. Plus, the colors complement each other without being opposites on the color wheel (ahem, Denver Broncos.).

2. OAKLAND RAIDERS

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There is nothing more fierce than the Oakland Raiders uniforms, all silver and black with a pirate logo. Silver and black – those are some colors you can work with since they go with, literally, everything. Bonus points to the raiders for color-coordinating with their neighboring L.A. Kings, whose colors are also silver and black.

1. ST. LOUIS RAMS

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The Rams’ uniforms are classy, navy accented in gold like they just stepped off a yacht. They also make the animal metamorphosis work (unlike the Bengels) in wearing ram horns on their helmets instead of the logo. Congratulations to the Rams for being the best-dressed team in the NFL.

WORST-DRESSED

5. DETROIT LIONS

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Detroit’s uniforms are not ugly so much as…blah. Non-descript blue gets “accented” with non-descript gray. Plus, the rampant lion logo looks less rampant and more like a blob on the side of their helmets. Seriously, your eyes just skitter over the uniform, looking for some detail.

4. DENVER BRONCOS

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Ok, as long as the Broncos insist on using opposing colors for the team-their switch from azure to midnight isn’t fooling anyone-and emphasizing the orange, they’re going to continue to make the worst-dressed list. Accenting in flame orange with carrot as the base color doesn’t improve matters any. Too bad-the logo’s actually ok, which is why they’re not lower on the list.

3. GREEN BAY PACKERS

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Did you know the Green Bay Packers are the only community-owned major pro team in the U.S.?  Which makes their lamentable lack of uniform style all the more tragic. Bright yellow and muted green-what were the designers thinking? Don’t they know you put clear colors with clear, muted with muted?

2. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

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What could be worse than the Packers’ garish yellow? The Seahawks accenting in neon yellow. Neon yellow? What pro sports team uses neon anything in their official logo? I know it rains a lot in Seattle, but is visibility really that poor? Plus, stare at that stripe in the pants-don’t you get motion sickness after a minute? Maybe that’s how they won the Super Bowl.

1. CINCINNATI BENGALS

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Everything that’s right about the Rams’ uniforms is wrong about the Bengals’. I mean, their mascot is a tiger-and not just any old tiger, but a Bengal tiger! Yet they bring that out in the lamest, ugliest manner possible. Matching their tiger-striped helmets to tiger-striped sleeves to tiger-striped stripe makes it look like a Bengal threw up on them. Seriously, the 80s called-and they actually don’t want their uniforms back.